Expectations of gym

Gym…… how that single word can strike fear into the hearts of man and woman alone. Now the word Exercise….that already brings the trickles of sweat to the forefront. I use to think that those who did gym were health fanatics. Their “no pain, no gain” theory was a load of crock. I am or rather I was not, an exercise fan at all. The mere thought of working out till the sweat ran down one’s face and the rivers of perspiration that ran down between your boobs….naw that was so not for me. So for many, many years I never even bothered with the thought of exercise or gym. Till the day came when I needed a distraction, a way to work off my anger and frustration at life. So I joined a ladies only gym, a small one at that and it was good. I never worked at running up a sweat so to speak but I enjoyed the exercise (strange I know). I went there for a good 2 years before I stopped due to unforeseen circumstances.

Now here I am again at a ladies only gym but this time it is different. Now I do the “no pain, no gain” thing just to keep my body weight in check. I work out so that the “rivers of Babylon” flow down between my boobs. I grumble and groan my way through the circuit…give a few “Hallelujahs “when the going gets tough. But I push through for that half hour of machines and in-between things that work every muscle possible and coaches that are just pure sergeant majors (but yet are loveable). But believe it or not I am actually enjoying it. It has become my “daily fix” and when I can’t make it I feel all down and out. True be told there is a truth to that saying that exercise gives you more energy and lets you love your body again. The satisfaction one gets when you see how more toned you get, how much more oomph you have and that you end up actually watching what you eat.

Given I am still not a health nut and still love my choccies and cuppie cakes and things but I now do it in moderation and I tend to actually enjoy eating healthy now. Being in the beginning (peri) stages of the “change of life” for women, this gym thing actually helps with that too. And the best about this gym is that the ladies there do not just go there to show off their style in gym clothing or to preen in front of others, these ladies are all shapes and sizes and we laugh and help each other and just plain chat about our daily lives. Nobody is checking the other person out or how bad they are doing. We are in this together, sweating and groaning and pushing forward to feel better about ourselves.

So, now the word Gym and Exercise do not send me into frenzies of fear anymore. They have become my friends and I embrace them and what they are doing for me.

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Parenting

As children we thought that being a parent sucked. They were strict and restricted us from having fun. They were like a prison guard and monitored our every move and that proverbial “Blue Bird” that told all, especially when we hit those delightful teenage years. Oh how we revolted against having parents. The curfew times where a drag and seriously stunted our fun days.  And didn’t you just hate it when they threw that “wait till you have kids then you will understand” at you.

Then we hit the 20 something years and we start to see our parents through new eyes. We turned to them for advice on certain things, learned on them a bit more for moral support and also the financial support. Then we have our own children and boy does it hit home. Those words that were uttered by our parents come back to haunt us. The “wait till you have kids” speech. That speech turns out to be so true. How do then turn to our parents for more than just moral support, we turn to them and see them in a new light. How do we appreciate our parents now? We can now see what they went through, all the sacrifices that they made so that we could live without fear and worries. The truths that they kept hidden from us on finances and food worries. How much they gave up just so that we, as children, would not go without.

The boundaries that they set up for us then make sense to us know. Why they were set up was to keep us safe and to give us structure. The discipline given was to make us into the mature grown adults we are today. So what do we do? We start to do the same with our children. We try to give them the same safe structure that was given to us. We try to instil into them the history that was given to us. We turn into our parents…..the ones that we always use to say that we didn’t want to be like. The same words come out of our mouths……but, yet, this time around we are proud to be like them. Proud to have turned into the adults we are today because of what they did for us. All we can hope for is that what we were taught we can carry over into our children and hope and pray that they turn out to be well adjusted mature adults too.

I use to dread turning into my Mother, now, when I look into the mirror and see her face staring back at me I am quite proud to be called My Mother’s Daughter. I miss her a lot, I miss her laughter, her nutty ways and most of all her wisdom and her love. Never take your parents for granted because the day will come when they are no longer around and the longing for days gone by hits you like a brick wall. All the “what ifs” come rushing in so do now what you can for them. Love them and care for them even if they are hard to live with because when they are gone, they are gone for good. Soak up all the wisdom and advice that they give you even if you do not need it now as there will come a day when you do need it and it is residing in you to take it and use it.

Parenting is not an easy thing to do. You make mistakes but you learn by it. No parent is perfect, even your own parents. It is a full time occupation and not to be taken lightly. It is never over even when your children have children of their own. It is for a life time and can be a most amazing experience that we are blessed with.

Parents…..love them, enjoy them, and take care of them and most of all Treasure them.

 

Sundays

It is amazing that the moment you open your laptop and sit with a nice white blank page in front of you all the words and thoughts disappear. Maybe one should walk around with a miniature tape recorder and actually record all the thoughts that go through one’s head. I am sitting on the couch with my laptop on my lap and nothing comes to mind. The sounds of Sunday are floating in from outside. The lawnmowers are hard at work cutting lawns, the sounds of the birds are filtering through the noise that they make. My dogs are lazing around the house, one on the floor all sprawled out on the cool tiles while the smaller doxie is here next to me on the couch cushions. He is in the perfect spot…. In the crosswinds of the breeze. The butt end is facing the open window and he is sprawled on the cushions in such a way that he can still see out of the window. Ah the life of a house dog.

 

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Sundays, lazy, chilled, relaxed Sundays. The day of rest for most of the population. One’s body just seems to have that internal clock that says “Chill time”. The day to regroup and get ready for the week that lays ahead. My memories of Sundays are Mom’s Sunday roasts….. ah how I miss those. The scent of the chicken roasting in the oven, the sounds of pots and pans being moved around. The sitting down all together around the grand dining room table that is groaning under the dishes filled with vegetables and roast potatoes and that gravy….. oh how I have tried to make it just like her but there are just some things that only Mom could make. Then the puddings afterwards and the sounds of empty dishes being taken into the kitchen to be washed.  Sundays were the true family time days.

 

Now my kids are all over the country and how I miss having my Sundays with them. The catch up of all the news from them, the sound of their laughter and their banter. My heart aches for days gone by but as my late Mother always said: “Your daughter is your daughter all your life, Your son is you son till he takes a wife.” I have 3 sons….. enough said. One day I will have them all around me gain for a Christmas or for a Sunday complete with the grandchildren. Someday, one day!

 

But till then I will sit and listen to the sounds of Sunday, the peace and tranquillity that it provides. The time for one’s thoughts to spill over into memories gone by and of memories still to come.

A Short Poem

Scattered thoughts

Scattered thoughts

Bursts of anger held inside

Feelings…..can’t explain…

hard to express

Don’t know anymore

Beginning or end, which one?

 

Angel or demon

Good or Evil

Mixed emotions

Hard to perceive

Questions asked

What if?

If only?

Questions left unanswered…..

 

Time to go……

Time to move on…..

Time to let go…….

Time, endless time….

Too much time…..

Or too little time…..

Scattered thoughts like the grains of sand….

Blowing, twirling, and swirling in the wind….

Restless, tortured soul……

Peace…… No Peace….

 

Dreams called Someday

via Daily Prompt: Someday

That wonderful word called One day, Someday which we all love to use when we want to do something but not quite able to yet. That word that expresses our need to still have a dream to cling to in the normal hectic word. The “Someday I will get there” or “Someday I will do that or get that or be that”. That word that fills our void when we crave a dream.

For me it would be “Someday I want to travel the world and experience other foods and cultures.” It leaves the door open for me to be able to have this dream just hanging out there. To be able to grab it and reel it in when I am able to actually fly off into the blue yonder to view other extraordinary countries out there. Yet, tangible enough for me to say “its okay I never got to experience my dream”.

Why do we do this to ourselves? Why do we have the Somedays when we know deep down in our hearts that that Someday will never materialize. To the few that actually have their Somedays, I salute you!

As to me, well who knows, maybe I will get to my Someday…… But I will keep that Someday dream alive deep inside me and maybe, just maybe, the Universe will deem it okay for me to have my dream.

But dream I will dream of it. I have gypsy blood in me… The Wunderlust is strong in me….. Time is shorter for me know so the dream burns hard and bright inside me.

 

So SOMEDAY I will…… travel!

 

 

Our Senses

Our senses. Sight, smell, touch, sound and taste.  Most of us don’t even use them to their fullest. Those that loose one of them find that the others become heightened. The blind find that their sense of smell, touch and taste become much more intense, especially sound. To the deaf they find that their sense of touch and smell become intense. We take them for granted until we lose one of them.

Have you ever just closed your eyes and then listened to the sounds that surround you. Close your eyes when you take a morsel of food and find how different food tastes. Allow your taste buds to explore the taste and texture of the food.  Sitting outside watching the sun set and the wonder hit me again. It is amazing how even our sight we take for granted. I was watching the bats weave and dip around the trees and structures. Their sense of sound in the sound waves they omit gives them the grace to fly so fast in the dark. I often sit outside in the cool afternoon and just close my eyes and clear my mind. I allow the sounds of my surroundings to filter through and relish the touch of the gentle breeze as it caresses my skin. I find myself at peace with the world and myself when I allow my senses to roam free.

When last have you actually sat down and look at the wonders around you. The wind gently teasing the leaves of the nearby tree, the sound of the bees as they hover over the sweet promise of nectar from the colourful flowers. Look at a child as they play and discover nature, the absolute pure joy in chasing a butterfly, the jumping over and in a puddle. When they taste something for the first time. God in His Infinite Wisdom blessed us with these wonders and when we have small children we tend to see all the wonders again through their eyes.  When we acknowledge our senses our lives become more enriched in my opinion. God has built this glorious wonderland called Earth for us to explore to the fullest.  We need to literally stop and smell the roses again, to breathe in that roasted coffee aroma, to feel the silkiness of running water as it flows over our skin. To see our world around us, to touch the softness of a baby’s skin. We need to wake up and become one with the universe around us. To stop being in robot mode and start to enjoy the life that we have been given.

We are not immortal and we need to remember this before it is too late. Life is for the living, we must remember that we are here to live and learn not just to make money and work and try to out do the next person. We cannot take our possession with us when we die. So enjoy what you have now.

Enter the New Year

 

Day 2 of the year 2017 and the world still seems to be asleep. The remembrance of the celebrations are still hanging in the air. Even the cars sound slow on the roads outside. It is as if time has stood still, awaiting the awakening of the world to the New Year. The Auld Lange Syne has been sung and the streamers have been thrown, champagne corks have popped and toasts have been toasted. Families have gotten together and had their family time for the New Year’s Day braai time. Christmas decorations are ready to be put away and out comes the “get ready for the back to school” goodies.

New Year’s Resolutions are being made only to be broken within the first month. My resolution is not to make any but to just improve myself and my way of life. To not make myself miserable with all the “what ifs” that still hang ripe in the air. To take this year by the horns and run with it. To make it my own. The Astrologists and Numerologists have said that the year 2016 was the year of endings and now the New Year of 2017 is to be the Year of New Beginnings. Which I find very apt in my line of thought. I have a new grandchild on the way, my other little cowboy turns a whole glorious 1 year and I have a new daughter in law on the way. I intend to push forward and grow my little online second hand book store and just throw myself wholeheartedly into this year.

To have no regrets, to strive to live to the fullest, to love my God even more and to totally stand in His Faith and shine in His Grace. To own this bloody peri menopause crap that I am going through and to strive to see the good in all the bad, to see the silver lining in that which goes wrong. To learn by my mistakes and to own them. To grow as a person and yes, to even try to eat a lot healthier.

My goals are simple and obtainable so as the sleepy, humid Day 2 creeps into the afternoon, I find that my heart and mind are in sync with each other. To love more and to live more. God willing I have another good 30 – 40 years left on this great Earth so I want to enjoy them to the best of my ability. I want to live to the grand old age of in my 90s and have fun with my grandchildren. To become that Nana that will make an impact on their lives. I want to be able to impart my knowledge to not only them but to those I come into contact with.

We live a life and learn and to go to the grave without sharing our knowledge is surely not what this life is all about. To help others, to teach others, to learn from others and be helped by them. We are given this life to learn and teach and to grow and to enjoy what is given to us.

 

“You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream.” – C.S. Lewisbirds